Today the sun is shining & I did what any sane person would do. I walked the boulevard of unbroken dreams towards the beach. Cars were piling into the peninsula ignoring the parking restrictions. Can you blame them? The cars piled up in traffic as I was standing next to a man on his motorcycle blaring “Eye of The Tiger.” I laughed thinking to myself how last night in my past post where I identified with a “Tigress,” which I was wrestling with whether or not readers would find the post interesting like I did or would they find it boring? Some may & some may not. I was spreading awareness. My friend so eloquently said to me the other day when you write; you will always face criticism. This is so true & the reason why I never really did write other then journal. I did not want to deal with the rejection; now I have let that go. I already have had my blog ignored by people I shared it with, but i let that go.
Back to the beach; I looked into the distance I saw one lone fishing boat out at sea. It reminded me of when I was going through a dark time several years ago & a kind man I barely knew at the time gave me the book “Old Man & The Sea” by Earnest Hemingway. I had not read that book since high school. He told me it would inspire me & that it did. The book was exactly what I needed to hear “Do not give up.” Do not feed fear. Although my curiosity regarding the World around me has always scared me at times; I came to the realization that some things I just have to let go of for my own sanity. Curiosity will not kill this cat! 😻
Complicated things do scare me as I am a straight shooter. My Dad said to me the other day; “There Are No Flies On You!” Thank you Dad as this is the confirmation I needed that I am on the right path.
“The Only Boat In Site”
Reverting back to my title as I walked in the door I decided I have to get my tan on & stare at the clouds. I am always so much happier when I am in the sun. It is as if i am a whole new person. I even feel healthier. My parents moved to Santa Monica shortly before they had me & i wish my Mom did not want to leave. My Dad said if it was up to him; I would be there now. I wonder if my life would be different if the sun was shining on me everyday? However, there is no point in revisiting “what could have been.”
As I lied in my loungechair I yelled “Alexa play a song” & what do you think came on “Here Comes the Sun”…how exciting! The music & the weather were in sync. This was kind of out of the ordinary as everyone used to call me the “94.5 girl”; a radio station around here that I have grown out of. It plays the same few talentless songs back to back unless it is playing the back in the day buffet at noon.
To my surprise what played shortly after was “The Sound of Silence,” which I referred to in my first post/ writing leap of faith. Is Alexa a mind reader?
In closing on a more melancholy note “Go Ask Alice” came on after that. How ironic pre sunbathing I just hung up the phone with one of my favorite elders who I was checking in on; she told me she loved me & how much she hopes I have a great life. The conversation was really upsetting me as she did not sound like herself. She was talking to me like she was saying goodbye & I really hope that is not the case. I was trying to push back tears & I told her how she has always been a great role model. She always has a smile on her face & a positive attitude no matter what is going on around her. I am blessed we crossed paths. She also is the one that told me something I said in a prior post “When you hit rock bottom; there is only one way to go: up.” This statement has helped me immensely. Oh & yes this lovely elder’s name is “Alice” who I mentioned in my post before this. The difference between the two is that one is in Wonderland & this Alice is grounded. ❤